God Is In Charge

I've had the opportunity the last few weeks--perhaps months--to kind of just sit back and look back on my mission. Almost every single time I've done so, a similar question has popped up. Again and again and again. "What now?...Okay, now: How? When? Where?" The valuable lesson that I have learned by pondering these things is this small, but powerful truth that an excellent seminary teacher once taught me: God is in charge. He does indeed have a unique plan for each and every one of His children.

Tonight I feel impressed to share a few of my thoughts/feelings about what God's plan has been for me personally since arriving home from my mission. As many of you know, one of my life's goals is to attend and graduate from BYU. It's been a dream of mine since I was kid; it started small, but my desire to reach that dream/goal has only grown throughout the years. And so naturally I was a little upset when BYU didn't accept me before my mission. And then at the end of my mission--when I was working on my personal five-year plan--I decided I would apply again for BYU. I was confident that they would accept me this time around. Well, to my surprise I was declined again. And then I was rejected a third time once I applied when I had arrived home

However, I have remained fairly confident that I will eventually achieve my goal of graduating BYU. I know it will happen, and I won't accept defeat. At the same time, I've always known that the Lord has a special assignment (for lack of a better word) for me to accomplish before arriving to my dream destination of BYU. Since being declined by BYU, I've felt strongly that I was to stay here in Vegas--despite other opportunities to leave and go study at other locations. But for months I was clueless as to why.

A few weeks ago it finally hit me. I don't say it to boast or brag, but I share the following experience with everyone to add another witness that God is in charge, He loves us, and He knows what is best for each and every one of us. The simple answer that I finally received was this: The Lord has had me stick around here in Vegas to help my little brother Timmy and our two best friends Skyler and Levi prepare for their missions. If you're reading this, you might not understand how powerful this answer was for me when I received it.

I know without a doubt that my purpose since arriving home from my mission has been to love, support, and get these guys excited for their own missions. And words cannot describe the joy that I have felt as I've seen each of them progress toward that goal of serving a mission. Timmy is out there in Nebraska giving it his all. Our good friend Skyler departs to England next week and Levi will receiving his mission call either this week or next.

I am so grateful for God's love and for His unique plan that He has had for me. I can now honestly say that I understand why a dream such as graduating from BYU has been put on hold. And I am so grateful that I was rejected those three times.

Recorded Call: Lies

Simply hilarious. I never did get those slurpees!! ;)

Voicemail: From Father To Son

Three months ago we were dropping my little brother Timmy off at the MTC. My good friend Kyle Birchall (my trainer) found out I was there somewhere in Provo and left me the following message. It gave me a pretty good laugh, so I thought I'd share it after all these months.

BDN Update: The Power of The Book of Mormon

Well, wow. It's been a while, and so I decided to write a little "BDN Update." I don't know if it'll be much of an update, but I do have some thoughts and feelings that I would like to share with all those who stumble upon this small blog of mine.

I finished The Book of Mormon again a few weeks ago, and I KNOW that Book is true. I have no doubt in my mind. I love it, and I am cherishing it now more than I have ever cherished it before. If you are reading this, and you have not read The Book of Mormon, I encourage/invite you to do so. I promise you that it will change your life. And I am not saying that just to be cliche or just to say it. This Book will change you if you will let it. I've seen it change my own life and the life of many others. I also testify that God will confirm the truthfulness of this powerful Book through the power of the Holy Ghost. If you pray to God with faith and real intent--asking if this Book is true--you may feel something different. It might feel peaceful, warm, or comforting. But no matter how He makes you feel, the Holy Ghost will testify of the truthfulness of this Book.

One reason I truly love The Book of Mormon is because of the way it helps us during each phase of our lives. It may be different for each and every one of us, but tonight I would like to share some examples from my own life. These examples are personal, but very simple, special, and powerful to me.
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#1: When my family first moved to Mississippi a few years back (I was about nine-years-old), I remember my older brother Matt and I got in a huge argument/fight on a Sunday. I remember feeling really bad about it, and so I went up to my room and pulled out my personal copy of The Book of Mormon and I began reading in 1 Nephi 1. I read maybe two or three chapters that day, and I remember thinking, "Nephi was a good brother. I need to be more like him." I obviously wasn't the perfect brother after reading those chapters, but--yes--those chapters did point me in the right direction.

#2: As I struggled with my parents' divorce as a young teenager, I was strengthened and comforted greatly from the words of King Benjamin in Mosiah 2:41, which states:  

"And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it." 

Every time I read this scripture I knew that I just needed to trust in God and keep His commandments and all would work out for me--no matter what trial or challenge came my way.

#3. As I struggled as a full-time missionary, I found great teachings and insights on how to be a powerful missionary by reading the words of Mormon as he recounted many stories of remarkable missionaries such as Abinadi, Alma The Younger, the sons of Mosiah, Captain Moroni, and Samuel The Lamanite in the Books of Mosiah, Alma, and Helaman.
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Those are only a few examples, of course. But I hope you all understand/see where I am going with this. I just love how each time we read that powerful Book, it can help us with whichever phase we are facing in our lives. I saw that again as I finished The Book of Mormon a few weeks ago. I was so moved by every single thing I learned, and I know that by reading that inspired Book once again, I have been blessed. And I am an even better person than I was six months ago.

I look forward to the day when I have my own family, and I will be able to pick up The Book of Mormon and learn how to be a better husband and father from people such as Lehi, Mormon, and Christ Himself. I have no doubt in my mind that The Book of Mormon will continue to help me as I continue to progress and go about the rest of my life.

Late Night Study

Last week I attended two institute classes--Preparing For An Eternal Marriage and The Book of Revelation. While they were both VERY good classes, I believe The Book of Revelation class may have already benefited me greatly. There was something about sitting in that class and learning from the teacher and from the scriptures that sparked something that hasn't been sparked since my mission--a desire to have a good, in-depth study of the scriptures. Of course, I am reading the Book of Mormon daily, and I have been blessed with knowledge and peace from doing so, but this desire to sit down and study the scriptures and write down thoughts and impressions in a journal has been rekindled, and I am extremely excited about that.

I was so excited that I whipped out my study journal, and I started looking through it. My last entry was November 30, 2011 (a week after I got home from my mission). So yes, I continued the good habit of writing in a study journal after my mission, but...only for a week. That gave me a good laugh.

Now, the point of this post: I flipped through my study journal, and on page 2 there was a section called "Late Night Study Session (11:01 PM)." It was written while sitting on my top-bunk bed on May 19, 2011 (a year ago!) while I was, of course, on my mission. You see, I used to do that! There was a point in my mission where I was so obsessed (for lack of a better word) with studying the scriptures that I would take 10-15 minutes to do a "late night study session."

And the study I had that day was a good one so I wanted to share it with you all. That night I decided to begin my study of God The Father. My hope was to study every scripture that the Topical Guide had about God--His attributes, His foreknowledge, His eternal nature, His Gifts, etc. But before doing so, I decided to read what the Bible Dictionary said about Him. And there was a line that caught my attention. In the fourth paragraph in the Bible Dictionary, it says, "God can be known only be revelation."

Now this can be read and interpreted in a few ways, but when I read that sentence that late night, I looked at it in a personal-revelation kind of way. Each and every one of us can know God better through revelation. But how do we receive revelation? Well, as missionaries, we taught investigators three basic principles to seek and receive revelation: praying daily, reading The Book of Mormon daily, and going to church weekly. (Yes, the sunday school/seminary answers.)

So how do we know God better? How do we draw closer to Him? Through revelation. And we are allowed such revelation only when we are constantly striving to read, pray, and go to church. And I know that by doing so, we truly can know God.

It might sound simple to you, but I am grateful for those extra 10-15 minutes that I took that late night to make that small discovery about God while on my mission.

Best. Yearbook. Message. Ever. (Brought To You By Logan Nelson)

The following message was found in my senior high school yearbook, and so it was probably written in June of 2009. This was by far the funniest thing I have read in a very long time. This is from my little brother Logan M. Nelson. Enjoy!

Benji,

My good brother this year you have been a great example to me this year. The beigning of this year wasn't as fun, but we had good times. I went to key hole cayon one weekend, and I came back to see you so happy, because you had a excellent time at youth conference. After that I had the weirdest, and the funniest days of my life. You have changed a lot over this year, and I'm happy your my brother.

p.s. Good looks on mission!

-Logan Nelson

The Kindest Lady I've Ever Known.

This month marks the one year anniversary of the passing of my convert Olfa Elius Cortez Castillo. I think about her often, and I will never forget her. She was truly one of the greatest people I have ever been able to become acquainted with. And I'd like to take a few minutes to talk about her story.

On February 1 2011, I was transferred to a new area called Reñaca Alto. I was in my previous area for only one transfer (six weeks), and I remember being filled with mixed emotions that day. I was a bit confused as to why I had been transferred despite doing extremely well in my last area. However, that confusion and disappointment soon left me during the first week of that transfer. As I got to know Reñaca Alto and my new companion Elder Judd, I immediately knew that it was where the Lord wanted me to be.

I had a lot of trust in Elder Judd right from the start of our transfer together. Despite being a new missionary, my first impression was, "Dang. This kid is a stud." He had a lot of patience with me as he quickly showed me the new area and introduced me to the unfamiliar members and investigators. I remember one of my first days in the area I pointed up at the list of investigators, and I said, "Wait, so who's Olfa again?" (He had already explained to me who she was once or twice before.) He very patiently explained to me that she was an investigator with a baptismal date for March 19th, 2011. But before I could get way too excited, he explained to me that we weren't able to teach her for a few weeks because she was in the hospital being treated for her cancer. It sounds harsh and sad, but a lot of missionaries over-react when they first hear of investigators like Olfa, and a common question some would ask was, "Should we really be spending time with this person? Will they progress?" I paused for a moment, however, and--despite never meeting this lady quite yet--I just knew that we needed to give her a chance.

I first met Olfa on February 11, 2011. She was finally back from the hospital, and so we knocked on her door. She stuck her head out and said something along the lines of, "I can't meet with you two today. I am not feeling well. But come back tomorrow." When I heard those words, I doubted a little bit because people told us that every single day, and they were never there the next day. But--again--I felt like we needed to give this lady a chance.

We returned the next day, and she did indeed receive us into her home. She was feeling a lot better, and I could not believe how nice this lady was. When she asked us questions about ourselves, it was so obvious that she truly cared about our well-being. She told us stories of how missionaries visited her sixteen years earlier when she lived in Villa Alemana, Chile, and how she never forgot those missionaries. She almost always gave us food to take along with us. In El Cambio Espiritual: Volume III (my journal), I wrote: "We also taught Olfa last night. It was awesome! She'll probably go down in history as one of my greatest investigators. She's great!" The next day was a Sunday, and Olfa attended church with us. It was our second day teaching her together, and she was already progressing.

And she progressed quickly. She approached us one day and asked, "Wait, when am I getting baptized again?" Elder Judd pulled out his calender and told her, "March 19." She replied, "Oh. Could we change it to March 5? I'll be in the hospital on March 19." We explained to her that she could as long as she continued to progress. Her progression was a quick process, and on February 26 she had her baptismal interview. I will never forget that day because instead of having the interview at the church, we did it in her house. Well, the interview is between the district leader and the baptismal candidate only. So what happened to me? Our district leader had me go upstairs and wait in Olfa's cluttered bedroom. I waited on the floor, sitting on a pile of dirty clothes. It was perhaps the strangest environment for an interview that I was ever in, but I was just happy that Olfa was taking one step closer to being baptized.

March 5 finally arrived, and we were excited for Olfa's baptism. But, unfortunately, we were shattered by the news that the chapel's water was cut for the day, which meant we couldn't fill up the baptismal font. In the end, the baptism was rescheduled for the next day after church at the stake center. There were no worries until sacrament meeting started and Olfa hadn't shown up. Big sighs of relief came out of both me and Elder Judd as Olfa walked into the chapel a few minutes into sacrament meeting. Long story short, she was baptized on March 6, 2011, but she couldn't be confirmed until the next Sunday.

She didn't show up the next Sunday, which worried us until we found out that she was sick and had to go to the hospital. Elder Judd was transferred that next week, and so Olfa was confirmed on March 20, which also happened to be Elder Gasik's (the missionary I trained) first day of church in Chile. That would be the last time that Olfa ever attended church with us. Sometime during that next week the Vergara family (the family that fellowshipped Olfa) informed us that Olfa was in the hospital, and she wasn't doing that great.

The weeks passed, and the family Vergara kept us posted on Olfa's condition. They often told us things like, "Olfa is worried about you two, and she always asks about you" or "Olfa really wants to get better so that she can feed you Elders." (They were able to go see her in the hospital; we could not without permission.) April began, and the Vergara family informed us that Olfa wasn't doing very well at all. So we finally asked for permission, and we paid her a surprise visit on April 11. I will never forget the smile that she had on her face when she saw us! We had a great conversation with her, but we were saddened to see her in such poor conditions.

I had faith that Olfa would make a full recovery and rejoin us in Reñaca Alto--especially after hearing from the Vergara family that Olfa was doing a little bit better. But on May 22, more than a month after our surprise visit, we received a phone call from Brother Vergara during our Sunday lunch appointment. He said that he had some bad news. His son was married the day before, and so I first thought, "Dang. They won't be there tonight for us to stop by to pick up his son's extra wedding cake." I asked him what the bad news was, and when he told me that Olfa had passed away, I froze. I lost my appetite. Elder Gasik and I left the lunch appointment. Fighting back tears, Elder Gasik told me, "Sorry, man." I told him it was okay, and that I just needed some time accept it all. We sat for a while, and we shared our feelings with each other about what had happened.

Since her family was all Catholic, her funeral was at a Catholic church. We attended, and I must say it was one of the saddest gatherings I have ever been a part of. But despite all the sadness expressed by those around us, the family Vergara, Elder Gasik, and I all knew that she was going to be rewarded for those decisions that she made during those weeks that we shared with her.

A year has passed since her passing, and I carry the below picture in my Book of Mormon with me at all times to remind me of the kindest lady that I've ever known. We love you, Olfa, and we look forward to the day when we will all reunite.