Week of August 1, 2022: "Dost thou still retain thine integrity?"

Introduction

As life gets busier and the world gets crazier, it's important for me to take the time to study and ponder the Gospel. The older I get, the more I realize how important those "seminary/primary/Sunday school" answers really are. Scripture study, prayer, attending church, attending the temple...The same answers we have all heard over and over again. 

For me, it's simple as those answers. When I am living the Gospel by doing those things, I am happy and at peace. When I am not doing those things, I am anxious, self-doubting, and insecure. And while these are things that are important for me personally, I know they are equally important for my family. Ariel and I obviously haven't been perfect, but our relationship is what it is today because we have striven to attend church together weekly and study the scriptures and pray together daily.

When we do these things, we really can have His Spirit to be with us. While that is important for a variety of reasons, one huge reason this is important to me in today's world is this nugget from the Church Handbook: 

In other words, in a world where there is so much information thrown at us, it is important that we have the Spirit's guidance. Another reason why it's important to live the Gospel by doing those seminary answers. 

But I digress. The reason I am writing this post is that from here on out I'd like to share some of the things I've learned during the week from my Gospel study, attending Church, attending the temple, etc. With all of that being said, here are my thoughts for this last week. :)

What I Learned This Week

Scripture Study (Job)

This week I learned a lot about Job. I learned that his story is very unique because it's not entirely clear why it's included in the Bible when Job was not an Israelite. I learned that the book of Job is basically all poetry which may be why it was so hard for me to understand...Like most of the Old Testament. 😂

I learned that we all may experience Job-like sufferings in this life. When we do, it's our trust in God and our faith in Christ that carries us through these trials. For me personally, I am happier and more at peach when I am living the Gospel. I'm not perfect, and struggles will always come...But if I am faithful through my trials like Job, I will be better for it.

"Fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever."-D&C 122:9

Conference Talk ("Fear Not: Believe Only!"-Elder Holland, April 2022)

This week I listened to Elder Holland's talk "Fear Not: Believe Only!" while I was at work. The following quote is what jumped out to me the most:

To me, Elder Holland is reminding us that remaining active in the Church is NOT easy. As members of the Church, we will all face our own doubts and challenges. Enduring to the end sounds so simple when we are baptized, but I don't think that's the case in reality. It is not easy to endure to the end...It is tough. But I think that's okay because it should be tough as that is what will help us grow the most. By striving to live the Gospel, God truly will "grant us the power to finish the course." 

Lesson At Church

A small lesson I learned at Church today is that small acts of kindness can go a long way. I took Emmaline out to the foyer to help her finish her bottle. When we sat down and I removed the cap to the bottle, the cap went flying to the middle of the foyer. I was a little embarrassed because the other ward was in the middle of their sacrament meeting. I had just got Emmaline all comfortable and the last thing I wanted to do was get up to go retrieve the cap...But a nice lady from the other side of the foyer stopped what she was doing with her own kids to jump out of her seat and grab the cap for me. Even though it was the simplest act of kindness, it was a great reminder to me that we should always be ready to help others when the opportunity arises. We never know when these small acts will make someone's day!

I hope everyone has a great week. God is in charge!

-Ben

D&C 122:7-9

Why I Choose To Stay!

Introduction

If you are reading this, chances are that we know each other, and you are well aware that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My parents raised me in the Church, and I was baptized when I was eight-years-old. Many of my friends and family have the same similar experience; however, as we all grow up our experiences and feelings can change. Many leave the Church, many stay in the Church. Having many friends and family who have now explained why they've left the Church, I decided I wanted to write a blog post explaining my side and why I've chosen to stay in the Church.

My first disclaimer is this: I respect and love every single one of my friends and family who have left. While I think it would be great for everyone to think and feel exactly the same things as me, I also understand that that isn't life. People take different paths in life. That's okay. My only hope is that this acceptance will be reciprocated, and those who have left will still respect and love me even if we have taken different paths. 

Backstory

If you know me well, you know that my seventh-grade year of schooling was an extremely dark year for me. I had what my dermatologist called the worst case of nodular acne she had ever seen. (You can read about that experience HERE.) I was bullied and harassed by any kid who made eye contact with me. It was a miserable time that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...Luckily, I had great parents and siblings who were a huge support to me at that time. However, my biggest support was the Church! The kids at church never bullied or teased me about my face. They were great friends that I looked forward to seeing every Sunday. Most importantly, this was the time in my life when I started to draw closer to God because I felt like I just could not do it without Him. 

A couple of years later, my parents were divorced. As I am sure is the case for any teenager, this was the hardest thing in the world for me to deal with. But it was a crossroad in my life...I could either be angry with God and leave the Church (I had an amazing dad who never *forced* me to go), or I could draw closer to God. Once again, I chose to draw closer to God. While I wasn't nearly as close to the group of kids in Henderson as I was to the kids in Mississippi, it was still a highlight of my week to go to church and learn from my youth leaders. If it was not for them, I would not be the person I am today. 

While I wish I never had the nodular acne and I wish my parents could have stayed together, I have no choice but to be grateful for these two challenges in my life because they taught me that I am happiest when I choose to draw closer to God. Time and time again, I have found myself at similar cross roads in my life...Do I stay or leave? Every time I choose to stay, I am at peace and am at my happiest. 

(My second disclaimer: I know many who have had the exact opposite experience as me. Those who have gone to church hoping to be accepted and loved only to be bullied/teased/judged by others. My heart aches for those who have had this negative experience because I know if that had happened to me when I was dealing with my nodular acne, it would have been too much for me to bear.)

My Testimony

My backstory hinted at why I stay: I stay because it helps me be at peace and makes me most happy. However, I would also like to take the chance to explain some of my beliefs: 

• God is in charge! He loves us and knows what is best for us. Life often doesn't go like how we expect it to go, but by drawing closer to God and His will for us, we can be happy.
• Christ is our Savior! I have been especially grateful for this the last few years as there have been so many changes and so much confusion in the world. The one constant for me is my Savior. He is always there! If we reach out to Him, we can feel peace. Because of His atonement, we don't have to be perfect. We just need to do our best to follow Him.
• The Holy Ghost testifies of truth! I know that the first two bullet points are true for me personally because I have felt it in my heart. I am at peace when learning about my Heavenly Father and Savior. It is through the Holy Ghost that I also know of the truthfulness of the teaching in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I am at peace when I read the scriptures (even if I don't understand most of what I'm reading); I personally believe this is the Spirit testifying to me that the Gospel bring joy.

Conclusion

Like everyone, I have felt doubts. In my adult years, I have felt judged by others. A lot of the doctrine and history of the Church does not make sense to me. However, the reason I choose to stay is because the Gospel brings me peace. I don't mean to sound redundant, but I am an extremely simple guy and so my reasoning is that simple. This peace is especially important to me living in this crazy upside down world we are all living in. 

Again, we all take different paths in life; if you've taken a different path that brings you peace, all I can do is respect that! If you've left the Church, just know that I still respect you and love you. But please respect my decision to always stay...I hope that is not too much to ask. :)

-BDN AKA Ben

2 Nephi 25: 26-27