Why I Choose To Stay!

Introduction

If you are reading this, chances are that we know each other, and you are well aware that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My parents raised me in the Church, and I was baptized when I was eight-years-old. Many of my friends and family have the same similar experience; however, as we all grow up our experiences and feelings can change. Many leave the Church, many stay in the Church. Having many friends and family who have now explained why they've left the Church, I decided I wanted to write a blog post explaining my side and why I've chosen to stay in the Church.

My first disclaimer is this: I respect and love every single one of my friends and family who have left. While I think it would be great for everyone to think and feel exactly the same things as me, I also understand that that isn't life. People take different paths in life. That's okay. My only hope is that this acceptance will be reciprocated, and those who have left will still respect and love me even if we have taken different paths. 

Backstory

If you know me well, you know that my seventh-grade year of schooling was an extremely dark year for me. I had what my dermatologist called the worst case of nodular acne she had ever seen. (You can read about that experience HERE.) I was bullied and harassed by any kid who made eye contact with me. It was a miserable time that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...Luckily, I had great parents and siblings who were a huge support to me at that time. However, my biggest support was the Church! The kids at church never bullied or teased me about my face. They were great friends that I looked forward to seeing every Sunday. Most importantly, this was the time in my life when I started to draw closer to God because I felt like I just could not do it without Him. 

A couple of years later, my parents were divorced. As I am sure is the case for any teenager, this was the hardest thing in the world for me to deal with. But it was a crossroad in my life...I could either be angry with God and leave the Church (I had an amazing dad who never *forced* me to go), or I could draw closer to God. Once again, I chose to draw closer to God. While I wasn't nearly as close to the group of kids in Henderson as I was to the kids in Mississippi, it was still a highlight of my week to go to church and learn from my youth leaders. If it was not for them, I would not be the person I am today. 

While I wish I never had the nodular acne and I wish my parents could have stayed together, I have no choice but to be grateful for these two challenges in my life because they taught me that I am happiest when I choose to draw closer to God. Time and time again, I have found myself at similar cross roads in my life...Do I stay or leave? Every time I choose to stay, I am at peace and am at my happiest. 

(My second disclaimer: I know many who have had the exact opposite experience as me. Those who have gone to church hoping to be accepted and loved only to be bullied/teased/judged by others. My heart aches for those who have had this negative experience because I know if that had happened to me when I was dealing with my nodular acne, it would have been too much for me to bear.)

My Testimony

My backstory hinted at why I stay: I stay because it helps me be at peace and makes me most happy. However, I would also like to take the chance to explain some of my beliefs: 

• God is in charge! He loves us and knows what is best for us. Life often doesn't go like how we expect it to go, but by drawing closer to God and His will for us, we can be happy.
• Christ is our Savior! I have been especially grateful for this the last few years as there have been so many changes and so much confusion in the world. The one constant for me is my Savior. He is always there! If we reach out to Him, we can feel peace. Because of His atonement, we don't have to be perfect. We just need to do our best to follow Him.
• The Holy Ghost testifies of truth! I know that the first two bullet points are true for me personally because I have felt it in my heart. I am at peace when learning about my Heavenly Father and Savior. It is through the Holy Ghost that I also know of the truthfulness of the teaching in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I am at peace when I read the scriptures (even if I don't understand most of what I'm reading); I personally believe this is the Spirit testifying to me that the Gospel bring joy.

Conclusion

Like everyone, I have felt doubts. In my adult years, I have felt judged by others. A lot of the doctrine and history of the Church does not make sense to me. However, the reason I choose to stay is because the Gospel brings me peace. I don't mean to sound redundant, but I am an extremely simple guy and so my reasoning is that simple. This peace is especially important to me living in this crazy upside down world we are all living in. 

Again, we all take different paths in life; if you've taken a different path that brings you peace, all I can do is respect that! If you've left the Church, just know that I still respect you and love you. But please respect my decision to always stay...I hope that is not too much to ask. :)

-BDN AKA Ben

2 Nephi 25: 26-27