Week of August 1, 2022: "Dost thou still retain thine integrity?"

Introduction

As life gets busier and the world gets crazier, it's important for me to take the time to study and ponder the Gospel. The older I get, the more I realize how important those "seminary/primary/Sunday school" answers really are. Scripture study, prayer, attending church, attending the temple...The same answers we have all heard over and over again. 

For me, it's simple as those answers. When I am living the Gospel by doing those things, I am happy and at peace. When I am not doing those things, I am anxious, self-doubting, and insecure. And while these are things that are important for me personally, I know they are equally important for my family. Ariel and I obviously haven't been perfect, but our relationship is what it is today because we have striven to attend church together weekly and study the scriptures and pray together daily.

When we do these things, we really can have His Spirit to be with us. While that is important for a variety of reasons, one huge reason this is important to me in today's world is this nugget from the Church Handbook: 

In other words, in a world where there is so much information thrown at us, it is important that we have the Spirit's guidance. Another reason why it's important to live the Gospel by doing those seminary answers. 

But I digress. The reason I am writing this post is that from here on out I'd like to share some of the things I've learned during the week from my Gospel study, attending Church, attending the temple, etc. With all of that being said, here are my thoughts for this last week. :)

What I Learned This Week

Scripture Study (Job)

This week I learned a lot about Job. I learned that his story is very unique because it's not entirely clear why it's included in the Bible when Job was not an Israelite. I learned that the book of Job is basically all poetry which may be why it was so hard for me to understand...Like most of the Old Testament. 😂

I learned that we all may experience Job-like sufferings in this life. When we do, it's our trust in God and our faith in Christ that carries us through these trials. For me personally, I am happier and more at peach when I am living the Gospel. I'm not perfect, and struggles will always come...But if I am faithful through my trials like Job, I will be better for it.

"Fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever."-D&C 122:9

Conference Talk ("Fear Not: Believe Only!"-Elder Holland, April 2022)

This week I listened to Elder Holland's talk "Fear Not: Believe Only!" while I was at work. The following quote is what jumped out to me the most:

To me, Elder Holland is reminding us that remaining active in the Church is NOT easy. As members of the Church, we will all face our own doubts and challenges. Enduring to the end sounds so simple when we are baptized, but I don't think that's the case in reality. It is not easy to endure to the end...It is tough. But I think that's okay because it should be tough as that is what will help us grow the most. By striving to live the Gospel, God truly will "grant us the power to finish the course." 

Lesson At Church

A small lesson I learned at Church today is that small acts of kindness can go a long way. I took Emmaline out to the foyer to help her finish her bottle. When we sat down and I removed the cap to the bottle, the cap went flying to the middle of the foyer. I was a little embarrassed because the other ward was in the middle of their sacrament meeting. I had just got Emmaline all comfortable and the last thing I wanted to do was get up to go retrieve the cap...But a nice lady from the other side of the foyer stopped what she was doing with her own kids to jump out of her seat and grab the cap for me. Even though it was the simplest act of kindness, it was a great reminder to me that we should always be ready to help others when the opportunity arises. We never know when these small acts will make someone's day!

I hope everyone has a great week. God is in charge!

-Ben

D&C 122:7-9

Why I Choose To Stay!

Introduction

If you are reading this, chances are that we know each other, and you are well aware that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My parents raised me in the Church, and I was baptized when I was eight-years-old. Many of my friends and family have the same similar experience; however, as we all grow up our experiences and feelings can change. Many leave the Church, many stay in the Church. Having many friends and family who have now explained why they've left the Church, I decided I wanted to write a blog post explaining my side and why I've chosen to stay in the Church.

My first disclaimer is this: I respect and love every single one of my friends and family who have left. While I think it would be great for everyone to think and feel exactly the same things as me, I also understand that that isn't life. People take different paths in life. That's okay. My only hope is that this acceptance will be reciprocated, and those who have left will still respect and love me even if we have taken different paths. 

Backstory

If you know me well, you know that my seventh-grade year of schooling was an extremely dark year for me. I had what my dermatologist called the worst case of nodular acne she had ever seen. (You can read about that experience HERE.) I was bullied and harassed by any kid who made eye contact with me. It was a miserable time that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...Luckily, I had great parents and siblings who were a huge support to me at that time. However, my biggest support was the Church! The kids at church never bullied or teased me about my face. They were great friends that I looked forward to seeing every Sunday. Most importantly, this was the time in my life when I started to draw closer to God because I felt like I just could not do it without Him. 

A couple of years later, my parents were divorced. As I am sure is the case for any teenager, this was the hardest thing in the world for me to deal with. But it was a crossroad in my life...I could either be angry with God and leave the Church (I had an amazing dad who never *forced* me to go), or I could draw closer to God. Once again, I chose to draw closer to God. While I wasn't nearly as close to the group of kids in Henderson as I was to the kids in Mississippi, it was still a highlight of my week to go to church and learn from my youth leaders. If it was not for them, I would not be the person I am today. 

While I wish I never had the nodular acne and I wish my parents could have stayed together, I have no choice but to be grateful for these two challenges in my life because they taught me that I am happiest when I choose to draw closer to God. Time and time again, I have found myself at similar cross roads in my life...Do I stay or leave? Every time I choose to stay, I am at peace and am at my happiest. 

(My second disclaimer: I know many who have had the exact opposite experience as me. Those who have gone to church hoping to be accepted and loved only to be bullied/teased/judged by others. My heart aches for those who have had this negative experience because I know if that had happened to me when I was dealing with my nodular acne, it would have been too much for me to bear.)

My Testimony

My backstory hinted at why I stay: I stay because it helps me be at peace and makes me most happy. However, I would also like to take the chance to explain some of my beliefs: 

• God is in charge! He loves us and knows what is best for us. Life often doesn't go like how we expect it to go, but by drawing closer to God and His will for us, we can be happy.
• Christ is our Savior! I have been especially grateful for this the last few years as there have been so many changes and so much confusion in the world. The one constant for me is my Savior. He is always there! If we reach out to Him, we can feel peace. Because of His atonement, we don't have to be perfect. We just need to do our best to follow Him.
• The Holy Ghost testifies of truth! I know that the first two bullet points are true for me personally because I have felt it in my heart. I am at peace when learning about my Heavenly Father and Savior. It is through the Holy Ghost that I also know of the truthfulness of the teaching in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I am at peace when I read the scriptures (even if I don't understand most of what I'm reading); I personally believe this is the Spirit testifying to me that the Gospel bring joy.

Conclusion

Like everyone, I have felt doubts. In my adult years, I have felt judged by others. A lot of the doctrine and history of the Church does not make sense to me. However, the reason I choose to stay is because the Gospel brings me peace. I don't mean to sound redundant, but I am an extremely simple guy and so my reasoning is that simple. This peace is especially important to me living in this crazy upside down world we are all living in. 

Again, we all take different paths in life; if you've taken a different path that brings you peace, all I can do is respect that! If you've left the Church, just know that I still respect you and love you. But please respect my decision to always stay...I hope that is not too much to ask. :)

-BDN AKA Ben

2 Nephi 25: 26-27

Ben & Airy's Episode 1: Celtic Nights & The Duck

Introduction

Ariel and I first met on January 4th (or 5th?) of 2014. I tried impressing her by showing off a huge hole in my sock. A couple of weeks passed, however, and we talked a little more. These talks led to the following events. Now, whether my account is more accurate than Ariel's account...Well, we will leave that up to the readers to decide. Enjoy! :)

Ariel's Account

While I was working at flower shop I sort of won a free ticket to the Celtic Night show that evening and I was pretty excited about it because there were videos in the MC showing cool dances and bagpipes and stuff. While I was still pretty excited about it, Ben showed up and I showed him my free ticket and he volunteered to go with me if I was going alone. I was kind of glad because I wouldn’t have gone if I had to go alone.

When we got there we were told we were only allowed to sit in the bleachers. But then of course I saw that there were tons of closer spots! Whatever. We got a nice spot at the top with a good view and there were relatively few people around us.

We had gotten there pretty early so we had plenty of time to just sit and talk for a while. He spotted his friends way across the gymnasium and tried really hard to get me to see them. He told me a lot about his brothers which I really wasn’t paying much attention to. He didn’t know this about me but I just really struggle remembering names without faces. But he continued to regale me with stories about his siblings, his past semesters, and his sock. I told him that I had duck I was planning to cook up.

I didn’t notice at first but he was gradually sitting just a little closer to me. I thought for a while that it was just natural shifting of the body during animated conversation but it didn’t seem to change even when the program started and we weren’t really talking anymore. It was a pretty long first half of the performance made almost agonizing because of Ben sitting way too close. I kept thinking, “Does he not see that we’ve moved along this bench at least five feet??” and I couldn’t think of a non-awkward way to tell him that I really didn’t want to cuddle him.

After about the fifth fake out ending we decided to just leave the concert because “it was just way too long” but I was really thinking that I needed some space. So we were walking back to our apartments and I thought things were pretty comfortable again, it’s not like he was walking too close or anything. Then as I get to my complex he says casually, “Yeah, just let me know when that duck is ready.” I think, “Great, what if I wanted to eat my duck? I barely even know you and you’re just gonna come eat my food?”

Next day, I’m cooking my duck. By the way, it takes a long time to cook frozen duck and make it soft-ish to eat. But when it was finally done I thought, “I don’t really like this. Who can I feed it to?” So I gave some to each of my roommates but there was so much that there was still left over. And in the back of my mind I hear Ben’s voice say, “Yeah, just let me know when that duck is ready.” So I pull out my phone and send him a text and he was there two minutes later. He kept saying it was good and I just kept thinking how weird he was cuz it just wasn’t that yummy. But I was grateful that he got rid of it for me.

Ben's Account

On January 16, 2014, I stopped by Ariel’s apartment to grab some cookies from her room mate Elisabeth. Elisabeth was in class, but Ariel was home! Even though Ariel was my FHE sister, it was the beginning of the semester, and I did not know her all that well. For that reason, I was naturally surprised when she invited me to go buy a flower from her on the BYU-Idaho campus the next day. I thought, “Okay, okay. A super cute girl just invited me to go buy a flower from her? Heck yeah. You better believe I will be there tomorrow at 1 PM.”

Sure enough, I was there at the Manwaring Center on campus at 1 PM buying a flower from Ariel. Long story short, that same night, Ariel and I were attending an Irish Celtic Nights music show thingy (something like that). It was pretty obvious she did not want to be there with me. She was originally planning on going home for the long three day weekend (Martin Luther King Jr. Day), or--if going home fell through--she was planning on going to Utah. She made it super clear that being with me at this show was her third and last option for the weekend. Even still, I was happy to be with her, and I knew from the very start that we were going to be best friends.

The show was alright. It was a little too long for my liking, honestly. And it was too loud in there for me! And so, naturally, I was trying to scoot nice and close to Ariel so that I could hear her without any problem and talk to her before the show, during the show, and after the show. In the middle of all our conversations, she mentioned that her teacher had given her some duck and that she was going to cook it in a crock pot. I told her that sounded delicious and that she should definitely let me know if there were any leftovers. I walked her home--but not to her door--and I could tell immediately that Ariel thought I was a little strange, which I was honestly kind of okay with because I really just wanted to be her friend.

The next day, I was goofing off at my apartment when I got a text message on my phone from Ariel mentioning that she had some duck that I could try. I had honestly forgotten that I had told her to let me know if she had any leftovers, and so I threw on some shoes and hurried on over to her apartment.

The duck was so delicious.

"What About The Magic!?"

Confession & Suggestion

I have a blog. If you are reading this and have known me for 7+ years, chances are you are aware of this. If you haven't known me for quite that long and are reading this, chances are this is the first blog post you've ever read of mine. My suggestion to those who haven't seen my blog: Take a look at some of my old posts for some deep, inspirational stuff. (That's a joke. Especially if you go back to 2008. Yikes. Dark times.)

Anyways, this is my first blog post since over four years ago!! Geez. Tonight, I was having a great time at work when it dawned on me, "Hey, I should write a blog post!" So here I am at 2:25 AM writing a blog post. Not entirely sure what's gonna happen with this, but prepare yourselves and read at your own risk!

"Is it okay if I call you mine from here on out?
As if I could ever stop when your laugh is
like a light that fills me up because you are
my love."-a pretty song

Happy, Happy, Happy

These last four years (since I last wrote) have been the greatest of my life. As I said earlier...2008 was dark times. Well, not only was 2008 dark times, but so was basically every year of my life until 2014 when I met my one and only--my best friend and wife Ariel. Funnily enough, the last time I blogged was literally days after she and I went on our first date. (In fact, that same blog post vaguely mentions Ariel and can be read here. It's actually not a bad post and has a good message. Nice!)

Of course, I am exaggerating when I say that every year was dark times. But to be more exact, I lived what I felt was a very dark life after my parents' divorce. It is what it is, and I don't blame anyone or anything for it, BUT...Obviously, I was negatively impacted by it like any and every kid is. For years, I was lost. While people were able to call this place or that place home, I felt like I had lost that. While I did have plenty of moments of joy and happiness, I wasn't really happy. 

That being said, everything changed when Ariel came into my life, and we were married. The last four years have done nothing but given me more hope and happiness than I ever knew was imaginable. While my parents' divorce is something that I will never 100% get over, beginning my own family with Ariel has been very helpful in the process of healing from that trial I've been asked to face. 

Another thing that has been helpful for me and that has blessed our marriage immensely was the inspirational decision to study Marriage & Family studies at BYU-Idaho. For all of our married days, the classes I took will be a blessing to us and our marriage, and I am grateful for that.

Back to The Future

Now that Ariel and I are both graduated, I have had many people ask about our next plan of action or all that what not. Initially, I wasn't sure. But my patriarchal blessing talks about being guided by the Spirit in leading and presiding over my family. And so the last few months have consisted of me being the most prayerful I have ever been. More prayerful than I was when I was thinking of serving a mission. More prayerful that I was on my mission. And--yes, even more prayerful than I was when I sought confirmation to marry Ariel. 

Another confession (and a fun fact about me) before I say anything else: I love cleaning. I have for a very long time. I used to clean and rearrange my room for kicks and giggles as a kid. My sister Cynthia and I would clean the bathroom and other parts of our house without being asked...because we enjoyed cleaning. My absolute favorite part of the MTC as a missionary? It was cleaning 64 toilets every Wednesday with my good friend Elder Boyd. There's a reason I've been cleaning for work for the last five years: I love it, and it makes me happy. (Disclaimer: I am terrible at cleaning at home, and, Ariel, if you are reading this, I am going to try and be better about that. ROFL!)

I am especially happy to be the new custodial supervisor at Seasons Medical. This is no easy task, but it was a challenge that I hoped for and am up for. The last few weeks have been amazing as I have come up with a more effective system to ensure the building gets cleaned the way the administration is expecting it to be. I look forward to becoming a better leader through this experience. 

Not a mug shot.

With all that being said, I understand that custodial work--while I love it--is not sustainable for me or my family. I'm only 27 years-old after all, and at this rate my body might be broken by the time I make it to 40. ROFL. 

I guess this is what I am trying to say...To answer everyone's questions: After a lot of prayer and pondering, I have decided to continue my education while working as a custodian. Despite studying Marriage & Family and exploring other options in elementary and secondary education, I have decided to not go either route and instead study Data Analytics. 

My second-to-last semester, I took a statistics class, and it was amazeballs. And while neither have come as naturally for me as they have for my brothers (they know who they are)...I actually really enjoy programming and math. Luckily, a lot of the data analytics skills can be learned on your own. 

The mistake I have made in the past is not being very good about sharing my plans and goals with family and/or friends to hold myself accountable and all that what not: So my plan for now is as follows:

1. Complete the 300+ hour free curriculum for Data Analytics here before April 2019 (Adjustable since I'm still not sure if that time frame is attainable. Lets just say so far I've completed 1.4% of the curriculum. Haha.) After completing the curriculum, I am confident I will have enough skills to apply for and get offers for Data Analytics jobs.

2. However, if it's not as golden as I am thinking, my next plan of attack will be to get a nanodegree for Data Analytics through Udacity found here. 

3. Whether I get a job or I have to get a nanodegree, a long-term goal of mine is to get a Master's Degree in Data Analytics through Western Governors (which can be found here for those interested). (Side note: Is a Master's degree really needed if I can teach myself all the skills? Probably not. However, it would lead to more job opportunities such as teaching online for BYU-Idaho and/or BYU Pathway Worldwide.)

And What Not!

Now I'm just rambling, but that's just how I roll, I suppose. :) Good night, world, and I promise I won't make you wait another four years before you hear from me again. Until next time...Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and all of that what not! (Final disclaimer: If most of this makes no sense, keep in mind it is now 3:33 AM. "A little bit tired."-Babe the pig)

(DISCLAIMER: YES, Ariel and I have communicated everything that has been talked about in this post. We are happy with our decision and have faith that our future is bright.)

Still

Since I haven't written a blog post so far this year, I thought I'd take the chance to do so right now. I used to plan beforehand what I write, but it seems like a lot of my latest blog posts (with the exception of a few) have been kind of random and stuff. This blog post will be one of the random ones.

It's interesting to think that only three or four months ago, my plan was to be in Las Vegas at home right now. Timmy comes home soon, and Logan leaves soon; my plan was to spend time with them during my off-track because I love those guys. In September, I thought that was what would be best for me. That was my plan, and I kind of forgot about it. On the way home for Thanksgiving, however, I started thinking about it again, and I felt pretty strongly that I needed to reconsider my decision and maybe stay in Rexburg for my off-track. I pondered it out, and I felt it was what I really needed to do. The only challenge for me would be giving my little brothers the news; I knew they were excited to have me around.

My little brothers probably didn't realize it, but it was so hard for me to bring that up because I was worried they wouldn't understand. Well, sometimes I forget those guys are grown up; they understood, and they told me that I needed to do what I felt was best. With their approval, I decided to come back to Rexburg with barely enough money to pay my first month of rent and health insurance. Looking back, it was actually kind of risky. I literally spent every dime I owned to pay for those two expenses, and I remember getting here and thinking, "Oh crap. I still gotta buy food!" Luckily, I was comforted by the fact that I did have a job and I did have the opportunity to make some instant cash by donating plasma. It all worked out.

Still, I really struggled the first few weeks here on my off-track. I don't think anyone in the world knew it except maybe my siblings, but the first few weeks of this off-track semester were some of the loneliest times of my life. I was staying busy with work, figuring out what I am going to change my major to, working out, trying to maybe go on some dates, etc. BUT I felt left out. People were always busy doing school work while I felt like I should be working on an assignment or two myself. A week or two passed, and it turned into more than that. I started to think that I had no friends here at school. Even though it probably wasn't true, I had so many nights where I was sitting alone at home thinking stupid, delusional stuff about how everyone in the ward was doing all these fun things without me. (Yeah, dumb stuff like that.)

A few Sundays back I was having an especially bad day and all those delusional thoughts were sticking with me. I was positive that everyone in the ward who did talk to me was just doing it to be nice and not because they really wanted to be my friend. (Again, yes, dumb stuff like that.) It eventually reached the point where I was really hating myself for choosing Rexburg over Las Vegas and thinking that maybe it wasn't what God had in store for me. But I remember sitting there after church that same Sunday after church and just really praying that maybe one person would show more love to me than a simple "hi" or "hey." I was so sick of being lonely; I just wanted to have one positive experience with someone that would maybe give me some confidence and take me out of my delusional, I-have-no-friends mode. 

Again, I don't feel it necessary to say what happened or who it was that reached out to me, but it was definitely an answer to my prayers. And you know what? Ever since I received that answer to that prayer, things only keep getting better and better. It was at that exact moment on that Sunday that I felt so much love, and I was reassured that I indeed made the right decision to stay at Rexburg. It sounds extreme, but as bad as that Sunday started, it ended up being one of the happiest days of my life. 

I guess what I am trying to say consists of two things: First, if you are feeling alone or if you are struggling, never give up! Keep doing what you know is right. Keep praying for the Lord's help and guidance. It may not come in the way we imagine or the way we want it, but I know that it will come because God loves us so much! Second, you never know when you will be the answer to someone else's prayer. If you ever feel prompted to talk to someone or to walk with someone that looks lonely or discouraged, JUST DO IT. You never know when you will be a mortal angel to those who may be struggling.

Thank you for letting me share. Too blessed to be stressed!!

Briefly: 2013 (In Review)

Man, what a year! As some of you might remember, last year was a little more predictable for me because it didn't take me long to recognize why I felt prompted to stick around in Las Vegas after my mission. However, my purpose in sticking around in Vegas came to a quick close as Timmy, Skyler, and Levi were all on  missions serving the Lord by the end of 2012. While helping them prepare for their missions was one of the greatest and most gratifying experiences of my life, I decided in November of 2012 that I would be moving up to Utah at the beginning of the year.

Although I told everyone I was excited for the challenge, I must admit that I was scared half to death. Yes, my mission taught me how to be self-reliant and responsible, but...this would be the first ever that I would actually be out on my own--no companion following me everywhere, no mission president to give me advice, no money being automatically deposited onto my mission credit card at the beginning of the month, etc. Indeed, the year 2013 was going to be unpredictable and quite the journey! However, despite not having the mission companion, the mission president, or the money, I did have the confidence and testimony that I developed on my mission that everything works out as long as we are working hard and trusting in the Lord--even if it doesn't work out the way we want it to. 

Working McDonalds' Drive-Thru

The first three months of 2013 were spent living on the Berrys' couch in Orem, Utah. (The Berry family is a family that I got to know in Mississippi when my family lived there; they then moved to Orem around the time we moved back to Vegas, and we've stayed in contact throughout the years.) I was very grateful that they were willing to let me stay with them those three months while I figured everything out. As stated earlier, however, it didn't quite work out as expected. Originally, I was supposed to get a job at the chocolate factory with my BFF Chris Berry; however, we learned quickly that that would not work out. I remember sitting in the Berrys' living room my second day there and thinking, "Oh man. Maybe I can't do this?? Maybe this wasn't the right decision?" Long story short, I trusted that I made the right decision, and before I knew it, I was working at McDonalds and staying busy. Even though it wasn't the ideal job, I felt so blessed that I was able to find work so quickly.

My Car That Matt Sold Me

As stated in many of my blog posts throughout the years, my dream was always to graduate from BYU. Hence the reason I applied before my mission, while I was on my mission, after my mission, and one last time while living at the Berrys' house. All four times I was denied, and after the fourth rejection, it hit me that the Lord had different plans for me. I decided to accept those plans, and I enrolled at BYU-Idaho for the Spring 2013 semester. 

My brother Matt (who lives in Blackfoot, ID) sold me his car, and next thing I knew, I was moving from Orem, Utah, to Rexburg, ID. What I thought would be a tough transition actually ended up working out perfectly. I roomed with an old MTC buddy (Danny Hardisty), I had a car, and—best of all—I got a job immediately when I got to Rexburg as an early morning custodian. Like my McDonalds job, it wasn't the ideal job having to wake up at 3:30 AM to clean toilets and do other "dirty work", but it was work! And to this day, I am super grateful for the opportunity I have every morning to go work.

While it was a smooth transition, I must admit that I didn't enjoy my first semester at BYU-Idaho as much as I should have. Those of you who know me well, know that I believe that there is an "order of operations" when it comes to dating. I realized suddenly that being an RM made it a lot more tough to date because it seemed that every girl I tried dating automatically assumed I was dating them to marry them the next week or something crazy like that. Besides the dating woes, though, I enjoyed Rexburg—just not as much as I thought I would.

The seven week summer break was much needed. I spent the first three weeks in Indiana with my sister Kerstin and her family; I spent two more weeks with my brother Brent and his family in Washington. It was so awesome being able to spend time with my siblings and their kids; I was especially grateful for the hospitality and patience they had with me.

However, the break went by way too fast, and before I knew it, I was back at BYU-Idaho for the Fall 2013 semester. My classes were much more challenging, but overall, the semester was so much better than the first. Everyone was telling me that I needed to date more, and I always just laughed and agreed with them to avoid any arguments. In reality, I wasn't expecting to date too much because before going back to school, I came to the conclusion that all girls were the same and none of them would ever understand me. I came to the conclusion that I wasn't good enough at expressing myself and letting the girls know that I was trying to build a strong friendship before anything else. So the sad truth was that I was pretty set on not dating during the Fall semester.

Fall Semester Was Awesome

However, at the same time, I was praying that the Lord would prove me wrong and place some awesome girls in my path to show me that the world was still full of girls that weren't "like the others." Long story short, I met one of my friends the very first day of classes, and as I got to know her those first few weeks, I realized she wasn't "like the others." It was an answer to my prayers, and I ended up dating a lot more than I did during the Spring semester. My life was more balanced; it was three of the greatest months of my life because I was working hard, helping others, and having fun in the middle of all of it.

Even though 2013 was unpredictable and I had no idea what was in store for me, I must admit it was one of the best years yet. Despite all the hard times, I thoroughly enjoyed the lessons and challenges that came with 2013. Looking forward to what 2014 has in store for me! 

A Small List of Gratitude

My original plan was to write a blog post like this on Thanksgiving, but I realized today that I will be far too busy hanging out with my little brothers to have time to write a blog post on Thanksgiving. So I decided that I would go ahead and do it today since I am off to Las Vegas tomorrow!

I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I feel it appropriate that my gratitude begin with what I am most grateful for. I simply cannot imagine where I would be in my life without the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My testimony of the Gospel is sometimes hard for me to express because for me words simply don't do my feelings justice. The Gospel of Jesus Christ has been my anchor in the worst of times, and I know that that pattern will continue throughout the rest of my life. I am not the brightest person and there is a lot I don't know, but I do know that Christ is my Savior. I know that He established His Gospel to provide a way for us to be truly happy. I know that if we follow Him, we will be blessed infinitely. I have a very strong testimony of God's plan, and I know that we can live in a state of never ending happiness with our families as long as we follow this perfect example and Gospel that Christ established for us.

I am grateful for my parents. I love my parents; I always have, and I always will. I mean no disrespect to them when I say that they are far from perfect. And I won't even go far enough to say that they are "the best parents ever" because I know they've made a lot of mistakes as parents. BUT they were and continue to be the best parents for me; I know that my mom and my dad are my parents for a reason. I know that's true because I look back on a lot of the things they taught me. I look back on a lot of those mistakes they made. I look back on all of that, and I just think, "Wow. My parents may not realize it, but they taught me so much by saying that" or "Wow. My parents made that mistake, but I'll take note of that so I am never put in the same situation." Again, my parents are far from perfect; but I think that is why I love them so much.

I am grateful to be the fifth of eight children. Man, I am grateful for my siblings more than I think anyone will ever be able to comprehend. I am grateful that I was one of the middle children, because it has given me the chance to really get to know all seven of them really well. I would say something awesome about each one of them, but man, words wouldn't do my feelings justice for this either. But I will say that I am beyond blessed to have my older siblings; they've helped me by setting an example. All four of them have been the best examples of what it means to progress and live righteously. I am blessed to have my three little brothers because each of them have taught me valuable life lessons. Like my parents, my siblings are far from perfect, and they've made mistakes. But I love them so much, and I am honored to call all seven of them my best friends.

I am grateful for technology. I wasn't aware of my gratefulness for technology until after my mission when it was so easy--and continues to be so easy--to keep in contact with the Chilean people that I got to know so well. This year, I've gained an even greater appreciation for technology since my older siblings and I are literally able to text message each other every day in a group chat on our iPhones. It is an awesome thing to be able to communicate with people with today's technology--even if they are on the other side of the world.

I am grateful for my mission. I won't go as far as to say that my mission was the best two years of my life. Heck, when people say that I kind of feel sorry for them because I feel that life should only get better after the mission. I can't speak for all returned missionaries, but I definitely feel that my life has only gotten better since. And the reason is simple: While the mission weren't the best two years OF my life, I am fully convinced that the two years of my mission were the best two years FOR my life. My mission taught me so much about how to love people. It taught me how to be self-reliant. It taught me to never give up. The list goes on and on. Now, I will admit that I haven't been perfect about applying these lessons to my life. I will even admit that I wasn't the greatest missionary. But I will also admit that I have no regrets because the mission taught me so much, and it continues to do so as I often ponder the experiences I had while serving.

I am grateful for my job. I had tithing settlement today at church, and man, it made me think of how grateful I am to have a job. Sure, I don't make a lot of money nor is it the ideal job. But I am grateful for the opportunity I have every morning to wake up at 3:30 AM to go and make some money to purchase the things necessary to live. 

I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for all the good people who have befriended me throughout my life. I feel that I am a pretty awkward person when people first meet me, and I don't always give the best first impression. But man, I am grateful for all the people who have given me a chance by becoming my friends.

I am grateful for food. On a less serious note, I just want to say that I am grateful for all the delicious food in the world. Here in Rexburg, Costa Vida has been especially good to me. I am grateful for all those who provide that food.