My Problem With The Ladies

These last few weeks I've had the opportunity to think a lot about a question that has always been on my mind, "Why is it so hard for me to be myself around girls?" It makes me laugh to think about it, but...I always thought that my mission would help me come around.

My mission taught me a lot of things about girls, yes. I learned how to respect them better. I learned the importance of actually thinking before I speak to a girl. Most importantly of all: I was taught by my awesome mission president what I need to look for in a girl before I date her.

Now, just because I've been taught these things doesn't mean that I'm necessarily good at them. Being my awkward, RM-self, I've noticed that I'm actually VERY rusty. We won't throw out any names, but I've been very impressed by a few young ladies that I have met since coming home. No, I'm not one of those guys that will propose to a girl only days after meeting her; I don't think that'd be a good idea. But yes, I am the kind of guy who likes to take these impressive young ladies out on a few dates in order to get to know them, make them laugh, and perhaps give them a compliment or two on their personality or their appearance. Because that's what I've been taught to do my whole life.

However, you know you have problems when you say things like the following to a girl:
==========================================================
"Hey! I didn't even realize you were here until you said something!"-BDN

"So....How was your Monday....???"-BDN
"It was good."-Girl
"...That's good....."-BDN
"...."-Girl

[BDN walks up to the girl at church.]
"(Girl's first name) (girls's last name)! How's it going?"-BDN
==========================================================

And those are only a few examples. And so I sort of have noticed that I kind of freak girls out and scare them away. It's a shame, really. Because I really am a nice guy. But alas....

practice makes progress, right?

Lost Treasure #11: Eleven-Year-Old Me.

Does this need an explanation? My Mom did an activity with the eleven-year-old girls. There were about three girls there that I really liked. And so I went, too. Yikes!

The Conversion Story of BDN

Toward the end of my mission, I was faced with many trials and challenges. We won't go into specific details, but I will say that I found a lot of comfort writing things of my soul in my journal.

I remember one night we got back to our house after a day that was especially challenging. It was that night that I felt inspired to record a small sliver of my conversion story. I found what I wrote tonight while I was writing my talk for Sunday, and I felt like it was something I should post on my blog.

This is all very personal, but this is my story:

The Conversion Story of BDN (In A Few Words)

Written on August 26, 2011 (In Los Vilos, Chilé)

Despite growing up in the church, I am a convert. I--like my investigators--had to "investigate" the Gospel by striving to follow God's commandments. In other words...I, too, have a great conversion story, I think. My conversion story would be something like this:

I always felt like the Gospel was true. The only time I doubted was when I was about four-years-old. I remember my Mom was helping me get dressed for church, and I threw a fit and said, "I hate church! Who do we have to go, Mom?" "Hate" is a strong word, and I think that worried Mom a little. But her reply, I think, saved my four-year-old self's life, and I'll never forget it. My Mom told me, "We go to church because Jesus want us to." That was the first time that I some-what understood that Christ was my Savior.

My memories are all jumbled up, and I don't remember when it happened, but when I was young my Grandpa Nelson came and visited us in Las Vegas. He took us for a walk to the park, and I remember he sang "Pioneer Children Sang As They Walked" as we walked to the park. Papa always taught us a Gospel principle or two when we visited with him--whether it was through his words or actions. And every time he did, I felt like what he was teaching was true.

I don't remember too much about my baptism, but I do remember that it was on Halloween. I remember my brother Brent was excited to baptize me. (He told me he had been practicing the baptismal prayer in the shower all week long!) Seeing my older brother excited made me excited to be baptized. I felt clean and refreshed after being baptized and confirmed a member of the Church.

When we had only been in our new house in Mississippi for a month or two, I remember having a "heated" argument with my older brother Matthew on a Sunday. We fought a lot those days, but I remember this time we apologized to each other. But I still felt bad. I remember having the impression to go read my scriptures. I obeyed the prompting, and I started reading 1 Nephi. I felt much better after only reading a few pages.

Despite all those arguments, my older brother Matthew became one of my heroes at this time in my life. After September 11, 2001, I remember being scared about war and terrorism. One night, before going to bed, I shared my thoughts with Matt. I can't exactly remember what he said, but I do remember that he talked of faith and trusting in God. I listened, and I knew what he told me was true.

And I remember many other similar memories that helped me realize that the Gospel was true. But I think it took a tough trial for my complete conversion to unfold. The trial I speak of is my parents' divorce. This was it. I had two options: be angry with God or draw closer to Him.

To be honest--I was indecisive for a long time. I was confused, and I just decided to float through life for a while. But in 2007 I reached the point where I knew that I had to make my decision. Life was especially hard for me during this time, and I didn't know which road to take.

In the Summer of 2007 I spent most of my time with my sisters Cynthia and KT. It always made me feel better to be with them. But I was struggling with the fact that my sister KT would be moving to Indiana in those coming weeks. I was also struggling with the fact that Cynthia had graduated and would be leaving to college in those coming months. My bond with my sisters during this time was so strong that both these realizations crushed me.

That summer will be remembered as the summer that changed my life. A few nights before heading off to EFY in Provo, I finally made my decision: I was going to draw closer to God. I got on my knees and started praying to God; I prayed about what I was going through, how I felt about all the trials I had been going through those past few years, etc. And as soon as I ended that prayer, I was filled with peace as I literally felt two arms wrap around me. It was at that moment that I knew without a doubt that God loved me. And that the only logical decision was to draw closer to Him and follow Him.

I continued to feel that love as I attended EFY that week. It was that week that I learned and decided two things: I needed to serve a mission, and I needed to read The Book of Mormon. It took me a long time, but I did read it. And I did pray about it. And God answered my prayer once again. I know that The Book of Mormon is true. I know God loves us, and that Christ is our Savior.

I will be forever grateful for the decisions that I have made to follow Christ. I continue to see those decisions bless my life. And I will always follow Him.

Lost Treasure #10: The Chops

Okay, this lost treasure stuff is getting ridiculous. This is a third in a row! But this one is worth it.

Lost Treasure #10 is a video from 2007. My good friends Walter Coe, Jeffrey Johnson, and I all thought it'd be a good idea to put these sweet "chops" on my face for a football game. There was a man who used these same chops (real ones) to cheer on the football team. And we thought it necessary to go and support him.

Enjoy.

Lost Treasure #9: Sweet 17.

And then there was my 17th birthday party. This year will be the "5-years-since-then" mark. No wonder we all look so young.

Lost Treasure #8: Moving Back To Vegas In '05

This gem was taken shortly after we had moved back to Las Vegas. I was hanging out at Ryan Whitehouse's house with TAB, Chelsea, and Shelby. At that very moment in time, I thought life was just grand!

And it shows in the photo.

It showed again at my Dad's wedding. Observe:

Always My Mission.

In the MTC, we had a Sunday night fireside, and the speaker said something along the lines of, "Since the day I got home from my mission, not a day has passed by where I haven't thought about my mission." I remember a good MTC district buddy of mine turned to me and said, "I don't really believe that. There's no way that not ONE day has passed." At the time, I agreed and thought, "Yeah...I don't really see how that is possible."

Well, now that I have been home for two months, I strongly disagree with my young, missionary self. The mission is a life-changing experience, and so many things are seen and experienced in those two short years.

And so it shouldn't be a huge surprise to me that I have honestly thought and/or looked back on my mission every single day since arriving home. Not a day passes by where I don't see something that reminds me of one of the following: one of my companions, President Gillespie, one of my converts, one of the ward members/leaders, a feeling or impression that I had while in my mission, or just Chile in general. The list goes on and on.

Here are a few of those things that I am reminded of:

And so even though my mission has come to a close, I recognize that it will always my mission--the turning point of my young, not-yet-old life. And I recognize that I am responsible to continue doing my part as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Lost Treasure #7: The Beard

A good six or seven weeks before my brother Matt returned from his mission, I decided to let my beard grow out. I don't have a picture from that exact moment in time (it was MUCH longer than the substitute photo below). I do, however, have this picture from the Spring of 2007 when my facial hair was longer, accompanied by a picture that was taken when Matt shaved my face off.

Did I mention that I looked a lot more attractive back then? My opinion, of course.

Spring 2007

May 1, 2008

Slurpees (Brought To You By Google Voice)

Listen to my voice mail from Levi that I received via my Google voice:



And this is the transcription that Google voice transcribed for me:

Hey Ben, running good. Get some sleep. Lease Torrance. After we. Yeah, I can look. It's scary. When you're talking to you again okay the ring. He, Yeah, it's recording. So after ultimatum for both of flimsiest on you. So we use has some slipping is why 0. Dagget restating It's making this with these HI But anyway, I Yes, Jamie. So I D's For the emmies. This takes forever to load hear a limited 80% load, way know that was little, little big dent. But at least on both of them there bye. Hey, awesome. If you get some sleep because.

The Power That Comes From Reading The Book Of Mormon

Since arriving home almost two months ago, I have been surprised by the truthfulness of some of the advice and warnings that I received from other RM's, from my mission president, and from the stake leaders that greeted me upon my arrival.

You see, almost all of them told me--one time or another--that Satan works especially hard on RM's. I, being silly, first thought to myself, "Well, they said the same thing to me when I was in high school, when I was preparing to be a missionary, and while I was a missionary. So I am used to this whole temptation business!"

Nope. It really is true. No, I haven't been tempted to go and commit a serious sin or anything like that. It's quite the opposite actually. Most of the temptations that have been thrown at me have been temptations to do nothing. So instead of tempting me to commit a serious sin, the Adversary has indeed taken a different approach by trying to tempt me to not keep the commandments by doing nothing.

Luckily enough for me, I made a decision a long time ago that I would always be a disciple of Christ. I am not perfect--I know that now more than I ever have before. I'm not the smartest person, either. I even feel a little immature for my 21-year-old self at times. But I do know one thing: God will bless us if we are obedient. That's because He loves us more than we can comprehend.

And I've really come to learn that. So although I've been tempted to stop praying, to stop reading, to stop going to church...I haven't given in. And I never will. But when I got home, I did make the mistake of stopping to read The Book of Mormon. I still prayed daily, I still read in church books such as The Miracle of Forgiveness, I still attended church.

But I put down The Book of Mormon, and I didn't open its pages for a few weeks. I noticed a huge difference in my life, and I often prayed, "Heavenly Father, what is going on? I am going to church, I am always praying to Thee, and I am reading in church books. But why do I feel empty?"

I am grateful for the Juarez Family from my family ward. They sent us a paper in their Christmas newsletter that challenged everyone to read The Book of Mormon December 12, 2012 (12/12/12). JoAnn put a copy of it on my desk. And one night I felt strongly that I needed to complete this challenge.

And so I went right to work with it. Along with praying daily and reading The Miracle of Forgiveness daily, I began to study The Book of Mormon. And the change that has taken place in my life is indescribable. Only a few weeks has past, but I have felt a peace enter into my life. I have had a few job opportunities come up when I was struggling to find work. I've gathered up the courage to attend the Singles Ward, and I am meeting a lot of new people. I no longer fear the future; God has blessed me with personal revelation as I have read that sacred, powerful Book.

I am a witness that The Book of Mormon changes lives. It's changed mine. I testify that it is true, and that it was written by Prophets of God. I know that by reading it, each and every one of us can draw even closer to God. I love The Book of Mormon, and I will always stand as a witness of the truthfulness that it contains.

Lost Treasure #6: "The Week Of Work"

I found the following two photos in a folder entitled "The Week Of Work." If I recall correctly, Brent Nelson and I spent about a week figuring out how we were going to build this bad boy. Two memories from that week stick out:

1)Brent Nelson and I running in and out of Office Max with a new hard drive in the pouring rain.

2)Brent Nelson saying to me (while working on the PC; about to put the CPU in), "Hey, bring me some toilet paper, bring me some toilet paper!" I thought to myself, "Oh, dang. He's either really got to sneeze or he has a bloody nose. Either way...my PC is in danger." So I ran and got the toilet paper! But I was surprised when Brent Nelson took the toilet paper and proceeded to wipe the sweat off his forehead. Classic.

I was 13-years-old when Brent Nelson taught me how to build a computer.

Me. PRETENDING to do something.

Brent Nelson. ACTUALLY doing something.

Lost Treasure #5: Happy Birthday, Baby Brother!

Today is my baby brother Luke's 13th Birthday. WOW!! I cannot believe how quick you are growing up. Love you, brother!!!

Mission Memory #1: A Year Ago Tomorrow

This will be my first entry of "Mission Memories." Today's journal entry comes from an entry I wrote on January 2, 2011. It gives you an idea of what it's like to be a missionary on New Years day.

Just so you have an idea...this was my second transfer as a senior companion, and I still didn't make the greatest decisions. And when I mention we played the Wii...It's not like we were sitting down and playing for two hours straight. There were a bunch of kids there, and the adults didn't know how the Wii worked, so we were helping the kids out. Looking back...It WAS with an investigator on New Years day, so it wasn't as bad as I make it sound in the entry.

Enjoy!

January 2, 2011 (7:58 AM)

Okay, before I tell you yesterday's story, I thought I'd say: Happy 13th Birthday, Luke Nelson! Wow. I can't believe how old he is now. Crazy! Happy Birthday, brother! I'm proud of you. I love you.

I'm not so sure that we are going to finish strong this weekend. Why? Well, yesterday was so weird. No one was out in the streets. All of our appointments fell through, too, and so we decided to pass by a few members to see if we could visit them and spend a little time with them. But nope! They weren't in their houses either. It was strange. We ended up spending a few hours with the Mardones family. We ate lunch with them a few days ago, and the daughter (Kabriel) informed us that she wanted to be baptized. So we're going to teach her on Tuesday, and she'll be baptized this change. FTW! But yeah...we stopped by their house to use the bathroom, but we were actually there for a good two hours. Yikes. I've never felt so "chueco" [Chilean word for disobedient or rebelious] in my life! Yes...it gets worse. What else did we do...??? We played Mario Party 8 with them for a little while! THE WORSTS!!! But we're never going to do it again. We can't be "chuecos!" ;-)

Well...today we have church, and it should be sweet. Valeska's family will be there, as will be Kabriel. Four investigators at church FTW! :) We're excited for that. Well, it should be an interesting day, then. I'll do my best to keep you updated tonight rather than tomorrow morning. ;-) Missionary work FTW, FTW, FTW. (P.S. I wonder how Scott Oehler (AKA Elder Oehler) is doing in the MTC? I imagine he's great! I love you, brother!) [I ask myself that because Scott and I used to always say "FTW, FTW, FTW"]

One more random thought before I close my journal...Elder Chris Berry has TWO months left in the mission. What the heck!? I don't believe that. Even crazier: Elder T.A.Brunner only has six months left in the mission. *confused* How can it be!? That means I'm running out of time...So let's go to work!! :) [Time DID pass very fast.]

The streets of Quillota (my area) on January 1, 2011 around 1 PM. Normally the streets were PACKED.