The Conversion Story of BDN

Toward the end of my mission, I was faced with many trials and challenges. We won't go into specific details, but I will say that I found a lot of comfort writing things of my soul in my journal.

I remember one night we got back to our house after a day that was especially challenging. It was that night that I felt inspired to record a small sliver of my conversion story. I found what I wrote tonight while I was writing my talk for Sunday, and I felt like it was something I should post on my blog.

This is all very personal, but this is my story:

The Conversion Story of BDN (In A Few Words)

Written on August 26, 2011 (In Los Vilos, Chilé)

Despite growing up in the church, I am a convert. I--like my investigators--had to "investigate" the Gospel by striving to follow God's commandments. In other words...I, too, have a great conversion story, I think. My conversion story would be something like this:

I always felt like the Gospel was true. The only time I doubted was when I was about four-years-old. I remember my Mom was helping me get dressed for church, and I threw a fit and said, "I hate church! Who do we have to go, Mom?" "Hate" is a strong word, and I think that worried Mom a little. But her reply, I think, saved my four-year-old self's life, and I'll never forget it. My Mom told me, "We go to church because Jesus want us to." That was the first time that I some-what understood that Christ was my Savior.

My memories are all jumbled up, and I don't remember when it happened, but when I was young my Grandpa Nelson came and visited us in Las Vegas. He took us for a walk to the park, and I remember he sang "Pioneer Children Sang As They Walked" as we walked to the park. Papa always taught us a Gospel principle or two when we visited with him--whether it was through his words or actions. And every time he did, I felt like what he was teaching was true.

I don't remember too much about my baptism, but I do remember that it was on Halloween. I remember my brother Brent was excited to baptize me. (He told me he had been practicing the baptismal prayer in the shower all week long!) Seeing my older brother excited made me excited to be baptized. I felt clean and refreshed after being baptized and confirmed a member of the Church.

When we had only been in our new house in Mississippi for a month or two, I remember having a "heated" argument with my older brother Matthew on a Sunday. We fought a lot those days, but I remember this time we apologized to each other. But I still felt bad. I remember having the impression to go read my scriptures. I obeyed the prompting, and I started reading 1 Nephi. I felt much better after only reading a few pages.

Despite all those arguments, my older brother Matthew became one of my heroes at this time in my life. After September 11, 2001, I remember being scared about war and terrorism. One night, before going to bed, I shared my thoughts with Matt. I can't exactly remember what he said, but I do remember that he talked of faith and trusting in God. I listened, and I knew what he told me was true.

And I remember many other similar memories that helped me realize that the Gospel was true. But I think it took a tough trial for my complete conversion to unfold. The trial I speak of is my parents' divorce. This was it. I had two options: be angry with God or draw closer to Him.

To be honest--I was indecisive for a long time. I was confused, and I just decided to float through life for a while. But in 2007 I reached the point where I knew that I had to make my decision. Life was especially hard for me during this time, and I didn't know which road to take.

In the Summer of 2007 I spent most of my time with my sisters Cynthia and KT. It always made me feel better to be with them. But I was struggling with the fact that my sister KT would be moving to Indiana in those coming weeks. I was also struggling with the fact that Cynthia had graduated and would be leaving to college in those coming months. My bond with my sisters during this time was so strong that both these realizations crushed me.

That summer will be remembered as the summer that changed my life. A few nights before heading off to EFY in Provo, I finally made my decision: I was going to draw closer to God. I got on my knees and started praying to God; I prayed about what I was going through, how I felt about all the trials I had been going through those past few years, etc. And as soon as I ended that prayer, I was filled with peace as I literally felt two arms wrap around me. It was at that moment that I knew without a doubt that God loved me. And that the only logical decision was to draw closer to Him and follow Him.

I continued to feel that love as I attended EFY that week. It was that week that I learned and decided two things: I needed to serve a mission, and I needed to read The Book of Mormon. It took me a long time, but I did read it. And I did pray about it. And God answered my prayer once again. I know that The Book of Mormon is true. I know God loves us, and that Christ is our Savior.

I will be forever grateful for the decisions that I have made to follow Christ. I continue to see those decisions bless my life. And I will always follow Him.