Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Random Tuesday Night Thoughts

Today I realized just how much I don't know, and just how much I need to learn. The last few months, I've been under the impression that I know how the rest of my life is going to play out. But last night I realized that isn't really the case, and it actually made me panic a little. My thoughts, "Maybe I don't know how my life is going to play out after all; maybe it's not going to be as easy as I thought it was going to be."

I did a lot of thinking and pondering today, though, and I came to two conclusions:

1. Yes, it's going to be hard, but I can do hard things if I continue to make the Gospel a priority in my life.

2. About a year from now, I am going on a mission to serve the Lord full-time, and I will be blessed the rest of my life for doing so. And that's the only thing I should be focusing on right now. I shouldn't be worrying about all the other stuff that comes after the mission.
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It's taken me a very long time, but I am now approaching the end of the Book of Mormon. What a powerful, powerful book. Tonight I read the first five chapters of Moroni, and as we all know--some of the things Moroni teaches us are about priesthood ordination and the Sacrament prayers. It really was a great reminder to me that I need to be living as righteously as I can to take part in a very sacred ordinance like the Sacrament. I am looking forward to finishing the Book of Mormon over the next couple of days!
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One of the goals I have been working on is being a better brother. Now--I know my older siblings are going to probably say that I already am a good brother, but that's probably because y'all are older than me, and I've had a pretty good relationship with all of my older siblings since I was about ten. The ones I have had trouble with are the three younger boys, really. But ever since I've become the oldest child, my three little brothers and I have gotten pretty close, and I really feel like I am doing a good job now.
The primary program for our ward was on Sunday, and Luke's part was to just bear his testimony. Luke likes to get up there often, and a lot of the times he says the same thing every time he goes up. But I was surprised on Sunday when he got up there--Luke shared one of the most powerful testimonies I have ever heard in my life. After the program, I went up to Luke and gave him a hug, but I couldn't get any words out because I was too busy shedding a few tears. Luke has grown up a lot over the years, and I am proud of him, Logan, and Timmy. I know they look up to me, and they do their best to follow in their older siblings' footsteps, and it really makes me feel really good inside.
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On Friday, I skipped my fourth hour to go to my friend Tara's art class, and while I was in there, she and I talked a little bit about college and what not. And then we talked about missions; she's not a member. She couldn't believe that I was going on my mission before college, because she thought it would hold me back. I explained to her that the mission actually benefits us because it teaches us good study habits, etc. I told her that a bunch of guys--including my elder brother Matthew--go on their missions before college, and they actually do better in college than they would have done had they started fresh out of high school. She wasn't full convinced, but it was cool as always to teach her about missionary work. :)
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4 comments:

The Watts said...

Thanks for sharing that, I am here at work shedding a few tears myself, it is VERY hard being away from you guys and missing so much like Homecoming or the Primary Program, but it REALLY helps when you keep up on your blog and share these things, it makes me feel as if I was almost there sharing them with you! You are such a great example and it is true if you stay true to the faith you have nothing to fear in the future and all will bring you joy even in a messed up world! Love you!

Kerstin said...

The older I get the more I learn that I don't know a whole lot.

BDN said...

*agrees with Kerstin* Haha. Man...When I was a kid, I thought I was the smartest kid ever. I am learning that this is not the case!

Cynthia said...

Same here. I'm like, "dude, I'm slower than I thought." haha, but it's great to learn new things. Great random thoughts BDN!